she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize