So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
