I puked a lego.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
