the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This toilet bowl is my home.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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