Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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