Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
