if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
