My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
