You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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