i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
