Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
