I'm jealous of your bromance
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
