So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
