it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
