The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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