whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
