no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize