Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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