I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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