seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
