yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my being single is dangerous.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
