my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
