Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
