My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
