butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Girls should come with a carfax report
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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