do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
