just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
