Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize