What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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