you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
