I want to make a zoo with you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
