I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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