I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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