Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
