R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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