it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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