Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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