then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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