I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
