Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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