Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
