dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
