Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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