These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
