How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
