So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
