We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
