Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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