Sry I called you an 8
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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