It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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