goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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