there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
