I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
