I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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