he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
