If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize