I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize