she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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