Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize