If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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