By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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